Be That One Person to Some Person

We did a thing today.

We loaded up the whole family and went Christmas Caroling. I guess that's still what it's called when you have six people singing five different notes that are too far apart to  all be melody and too close together to be harmonious, and it sounds a bit discombobulated,  but if the listener is well versed in Christmas songs, they might be able to sing along with a fair chance of hitting one of the notes already being sung.

We went Christmas Caroling to a handful of people.  

Because our Christmas caroling is a little like Wooton Bassett's mail delivering, it took us roughly two hours to make five stops, but we returned home blessed in our hearts, and with more things in our pickup than we had when we left home to give stuff away. Crazy how that works.

Our last stop was a man who lives alone and has Very Few People.  We have visited him a handful of times in the past few years, and each time, I tell myself we need to go routinely.  He still has the pictures on his fridge that the boys made for him 2-3 years ago, and today, he wiggled things around on the fridge to make room for one more, and proudly displayed the painted rock in a prominent place on his shelf.

I get a little discouraged with myself sometimes. I have a collection of friends who specialize in doing Big Things For Lots Of People.  They frequently and successfully host large dinner parties or organize complex events. This is not me. I prefer doing Little Things For A Few People. 

As we left this man's place, I was struck with the power of Doing Little Things For A Few People.

If every person would Just Do One Little Thing for a handful of people every day or every week or every month or every year, all those One Little Things might make a difference. 

I feel most days like all I have to give, I give to our family. The little bit I have left, I give to our business, for the sake of our family. That leaves me with a tiny, teeny, little bit left to give into the community. 

If all you have left to give is a  tiny, teeny, little bit, then just do a tiny, teeny, little bit for a handful of people. 

It just might mean the world to someone. 

The Ten Thing Thing

I look around and see hundreds of things to do. I can't do hundreds of things in 2 minutes (which is the average amount of time I have to focus, with 4 kids under 10), but I CAN do Ten Things.

I swoop up Ten Things off one counter and go put them away. Even most of my children's URGENT needs can wait that long to be met.

I get bored easily, and housework holds little intrinsic interest to me, so I force myself to do it, and I break it up so I can tolerate it. Ten Things. I can do Ten Things.

Sometimes, I race the dishes against the laundry. Ten dishes away. (Go change a diaper.) Ten towels folded. (Answer a math question.) Ten dishes. (Break up a fight.) Ten shirts. (Get a drink for a Small, Thirsty Human.)

Then suddenly, there are only a few left, and I quickly finish them. 

The amazing thing is, those first 10 are the worst. After I've done 10, I often go ahead and do another 20. 

If it's a night when snuggling children took priority over dishes, sometimes I walk through the kitchen at 2 am, en route to somewhere that's none of your business. On the way back, I think, "Ten Things. I can do Ten Things." I might do 10. I might do 100. Either way, it makes a difference. 

Sometimes, after the children are in bed, I look around and see messes and unfinished projects all around, and I have no idea where to start. So I rotate through the spaces, doing Ten Things. After making a couple rounds of doing Ten Things, I realize that each space is no longer unconquerable, and I start conquering spaces.

I'm not claiming that it's an efficient way to do housework, but for me, with my fluttery-jibbety-flittery brain, it helps draw me into motion. 

I can do Ten Things.

I'm also teaching my children this. When EVERYONE does Ten Things, it goes 10x faster. Ok, not really, but they are learning. 

They can do Ten Things.

One thing at a time.

A case of "The Momses"

Oh, don't mind my rumbling,

I'm really not grumbling-

I love this circus and zoo.

But in case you wonder,

Take a moment and ponder

The stimulation that Mothers go through. 

The noise

    Of the boys

The wiggles

The giggles

The squirming all over my lap

The squabbles

The wobbles

The tossing

The bossing

The racket during my "nap"

There's the sound of yelling, 

There's this poo that I'm smelling

The taste of this pre-sampled food (🤮)

There's the sight of the messes

The feel of wet kisses...

"How are you?" "Don't worry- I'm GOOD!"

But I beg, please don't judge

While I feast on some fudge,

And curl up, wrapped in a blanket.

A mom can be strong

For only so long,

'Til she expends her power to fake it. 

She'll be right back, after these messages,

Knowing life's full of purpose and promises,

Based on speculation, 

She'll survive the stimulation

She's just had a short bout of The Momses.

- a mom of Very Lively Children 

After "one of those days"

Added, by same Mom of same Children,  after a couple hours of sleep helped reset her perspective:

Thank you, God, for the wiggles and giggles and noise,

For the busy girl and each of the boys,

For the huge hugs and wet kisses,

Messy hands, dirty faces

And for hope, help, and all of the joys.

Ode to a "Normal" Day

 

Back in the days when I was free

To roam the earth as I jolly well pleased,

I'd pick up the phone and I'd call back home

To hear the voice of my favorite Mom.

"Hi, Mom!" I'd nonchalantly say.

"Anything exciting happen today?"

"No, thank God!" was her heartfelt reply.

I truly, genuinely, could not understand why!

"How absurdly boring!" I said to me.

I struggled to grasp the reality

That "boring" is "normal" and "normal life" could

Actually, somehow, be honestly good!

"Adulthood is boring!" was my youthful conclusion. 

I subconsciously vowed Adventure Inclusion

Would be part of my life- it was here to stay!

There's no reason to EVER have A Boring Day!

I sought New Hard Things, sometimes treacherously,

And loved living life very adventurously.

"Try something new every day!" was my motto;

Drive a new route, fly a plane, eat gelato...

I don't know what happened to that Adventure-Seeking-Me.

Perhaps the Adventure started seeking me!

"Never a dull moment!"- words I once cherished- 

That's my life now; Boredom has perished!

(In my particular life, right now,

Life has completely filled up, somehow, 

With a little girl and several boys,

There's ALWAYS adventure- and So Much Noise!)

As the hours turn to days and the days turn to years,

My perspective keeps changing, and so do my fears.

The days when the phone doesn't ring are the best.

No Extra Stuff-- I just want to rest!

As I crave the Unexciting Day,

I shake my head and hear myself say,

"My conclusion really can't be any other-

Like it or not- I'm becoming my mother!"

Adventures of Cleaning Boys' Rooms

 Boys.

I love being a Mom of Boys.

There is never a dull moment.  Never.

One of the things that a Boy Mom faces is that she never knows what she will find when it is Room Cleaning Time.

One day, it was a Snot Wall. Seriously.  Apparently,  tissues make good drawing paper, because I also found a treasury of detailed Pen On Tissue art. But tissues for wiping noses? Absurd.

This past week, I cleaned out a collection of finger nail trimmings. Ew.

I put away a toy screwdriver 🪛.  I was promptly told that this son NEEDS the screwdriver on his bedside shelf. Why? "To make holes in my pants." He went on to explain that he doesn't like wearing pants,  and so if he makes holes in all of them, he won't have any left to wear, and therefore won't have to wear pants.

If you have noticed a gradual (or rapid) change in my hair color over the past decade,  this may help you understand. 

Momming Boys is not for the faint of heart.

It is, however, one of my favorite things ever.

Even (or maybe especially) when I find things like this clothespin/rubber band contraption on the ceiling fan: 

 I never have been fond of dull moments anyway.

Mother's Mistakes: our favorite stories!

 "Tell us the story about when you ordered socks you thought were all the same, but they had different colored stripes!"

The boys were matching socks and making conversation.

It's a Very Boring Story, really, and their request pretty much tells everything there is to tell.

So instead of retelling the story they had already told, I said, "You want that one, or the one about when I ordered tiny shoes?"

They LAUGHED and said, "We like them both!"

I didn't actually tell it, because they remember better than I do, that in a Mom Moment of "I'll save some time and quick order these online," I failed to realize I was ordering infant sizes instead of youth.

It was a rough equivalent of some of the shortcuts I suggested on road trips, that I DON'T recommend you ask my mom or brother about.

In other words, it saved no time.

Instead of telling the story, I just told my boys, "You just like hearing about my mistakes!"

"Yes! We LOVE hearing about other people's mistakes!"

Me too.

I prefer to live the good, uneventful days (now I'm sounding like my mom!), but generally speaking, good days make really boring stories.

It somehow gives me courage to hear how others navigate unexpected, self-created obstacles.

There's something life-giving about someone being honest enough to own up to their own mistakes and make a good story out of it. My dad was like that. He could laugh at his own mistakes.

I want to pass that Life Skill on to my children.

Meanwhile, I'm off to other adventures, in which I hope to have a Really Good Day Worth Telling About!

KM Photography, Part 2: Selfies

 A favorite pastime of our 3 year old is to grab my phone & take pictures (one of the few things he can access without unlocking it).

Most recently, he has discovered selfies.

He's still perfecting his technique, but he has a few tips we can all learn from.

Tip #1: Don't position the camera too far away

Tip #2: Keep your chin up.

Tip#3: Stripes in motion add some interest

Tip #4: Try featuring a variety of facial features, vs. whole face shots. 

Tip #5: Covering half the lens with your finger helps hide potentially embarrassing background clutter

He lives this motto: 

Wear a smile,

Share a smile!

I hope you found these tips helpful!

Until next time...